Best Custody Strategies

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) has attracted considerable attention in recent years, and its existence has been the subject of much debate. Whether it truly exists as a diagnosable “syndrome” is not an issue that I am going to debate. I do believe that the characteristics or “symptoms” of PAS can be found in the context of child custody disputes with alarming frequency, and it is definitely a tactic used by some parents to poison their children against the other parent.

Several definitions have been put forth for Parental Alienation Syndrome. The one I like best was written by Reena Sommer, Ph.D., and reads as follows:

“…the deliberate attempt by one parent (and/or guardian/significant other) to distance his/her children from the other parent and in doing so, the parent engages the children in the process of destroying the affectional and familial bonds that once existed.”

Parental alienation is a condition that develops over time, as the “offending” parent exerts an increasing influence on the victimized child. The problem can be characterized by any or all of the following components:

• A parent speaks badly of or demeans the other parent directly to the children.
• A parent speaks badly of or demeans the other parent to others in the presence or within audible distance of the children.
• A parent discusses with the children the circumstances under which the marriage broke down.
• A parent exposes the children to details of the parents’ ongoing conflict, financial problems, and legal proceedings.
• A parent blames the other parent for changes in lifestyle, current hardships, his or her negative emotional state and inability to function as before.
• Children come to know that in order to please one parent, they must turn against the other parent.

Without a doubt, PAS is child abuse, and children need to be protected from it. Your first course of action should be to obtain the services of a child and family psychologist who has experience in dealing with PAS cases. In addition, the absolute best thing you can do is to acquire a copy of the Parental Alienation Syndrome package that has been compiled by The Custody Center, under the direction of Drs. Bricklin and Elliot, psychologists and nationally-known child custody experts. This collection of literature will see you through every step of combating and counteracting this terrible heartache, and it has immeasurably helped several of my personal clients. There is help available to you – secure your copy now.