Best Custody Strategies

I haven’t posted anything for awhile, but I’ve decided that I need to turn my attention back to this blog and try to help as many people as I can. You see, I’m angry. Maybe you will think that is unprofessional or immature or unproductive, but I am.

I’m angry at a court system that lets so many children fall through the cracks. I’m angry at spiteful, manipulative parents who don’t think twice about using their children as pawns in their vengeful games against their ex-spouse. And I’m even angry, but in a different way, at the innocent spouses who, through their naïve faith in the “system,” let their children end up with a custody plan that is not only less than ideal, but in many cases downright harmful.

And I’m letting my anger provoke me to action. Parents, you simply can’t allow yourself to be manipulated by your former partners and you can’t allow your children to be railroaded into custody arrangements that will negatively impact their lives. No matter how defeated your feel or how much energy it may take, you MUST act on behalf of your kids and arm yourself in this battle you are facing!

I’ve met Dr. Barry Bricklin and Dr. Gail Elliot, and they care deeply about you, your children, and your situation. Their publications present you with more information than you would find in years of research on your own, and they all come with a 100% money-back guarantee.

So please go to the Child Custody Library and take advantage of their child custody resources. Let my anger spur you to take positive action to dramatically improve your situation.

When I counsel families who are facing a custody battle, it is not uncommon for parents to lose their focus on the actual needs of the children involved. That statement may at first cause you to have a somewhat defensive defensive reaction, a tendency to ask what I could possibly mean by that. Aren’t children the primary focus of a custody battle? Please bear with me while I explain…

Many times, by the time a couple gets to the point of divorce, there is a long history of negative feelings and adversarial interaction between them. Even though both parents may want the best for their children, their perceptions of their child’s needs can be influenced by the antagonistic feelings they have toward their ex-spouse.

In this situation, one of the most important elements of good parenting is the parent’s ability to subordinate his or her needs to the needs of the child. When a parent begins to understand this, he or she will become a much better parent and a much better candidate for custody. It is essential to keep your negative feelings toward your former spouse from damaging your child’s relationship with and perceptions of him or her.

In the majority of cases, each parent has a right to a relationship with their child, and the child has a right to a relationship with both parents. Once you can recognize this truth in your circumstances, you will have a much better ability to focus on what is genuinely best for your child. In turn, you will then be more qualified to prevail in your pursuit of a favorable custody agreement.

When it comes to deciding custody arrangements, courts tend to show preference to parents who are respectful and cooperative during divorce proceedings. When you can train yourself to truly view the needs of your child without the bias of any residual negativity toward the other parent, you will have positioned yourself to be at a great advantage in your custody dispute.

In my previous article, I discussed the importance emotional stability, both for yourself and your child, in winning your child custody dispute. Today, I would like to focus on another issue that can make or break a custody case: financial security.

When facing custody litigation, a parent should establish that he or she has secured stable employment with an income sufficient to support the children, even if additional child support income is anticipated from the other parent. For some parents, particularly ones that stayed at home to care for the children, this may require that you demonstrate the availability of financial support from close family members, with the aim of influencing the court in your direction.

Also pertinent to the subject of financial security is the parent’s residence. When faced the question of child custody, it is common for a family court judge to request an examination of the home of each parent. This study will be performed by a court-appointed social worker, with the goal of presenting impartial information regarding the living arrangements available to the children. For this reason, a parent should make certain that each child is furnished with his or her own bed and an adequate wardrobe. While children of the same gender can share a bedroom, it does not make a favorable impression for them to be required to share a bed or clothing.

You should also make sure that the home is safe and properly secured; door locks should be in working order, the home should be clean and free from clutter, and most definitely free from any safety issues. These details may seem overly painstaking, but in a child custody battle, they can become sources of great difficulty when the home study reports are released to the Judge and to counsel.

During a divorce, one matter usually stands out as the ultimate point of contention – custody of the children. In the next few articles, I will examine a few steps parents can take to ensure that they have the best opportunity to win custody of their children.

As with any conflict during a divorce proceeding, the best outcome generally results from communication and compromise between the divorcing couple. However, if these measures are not successful and custody of the children becomes a court decision, you will want to take any actions you can to improve your chances of obtaining or retaining child custody.

Divorce and a potential custody battle is certainly one of the most emotionally draining events you will ever face. As a parent, you will have the best chance to prevail in a legal custody dispute if you diligently pursue emotional stability, both for yourself and your children.

When struggling with a child custody battle, parents should pay particular attention to the emotional welfare of their children. Most courts very carefully examine the essential elements of child welfare including neglect, abandonment or abuse. For this reason, seeking out an emotional support group for yourself and psychological counseling for your children will demonstrate to the court that you have a genuine interest in providing an emotionally stable environment.

A parent facing a custody dispute should also work to ensure that his or her personal actions are of a respectable nature. You can ensure that complicating factors, such as accusations of promiscuous behavior, are not drawn into the litigation by avoiding nightlife, dating, and any new intimate and personal relationships.